Oh good, you're still here. How was your Thanksgiving? Okay? For those of you dollins who needed it, did the list help at all? Your comments and emails tell me yes. Some of you asked for more lists to keep in your pocket or attach to your fridge with magnets. I have a bunch of lists that I'm working on to be published here and, whoadude, dig this - maybe in a book. I'll keep you posted on the maybe-a-book-deal.
I just typed "book-deal", did you see that?
Excuse me while I do some deep breathing into a paper bag.
Onwards...
HopeCelebrated and beloved bloggers Megan of Velveteen Mind and Deb of Deb on the Rocks invited me to write about one of my favorite subjects, hope. I have a lot to say about hope, also known 'round these parts as a pilot light. I have a story about hope in this post below. I am proud to say that this post is part of a campaign brought to you by Tide.
Tide? Yes, Tide, the legendary laundry product sponsors a program so simple in concept yet extraordinary in practice. It's called Tide Loads of Hope:
The Tide Loads of Hope Truck doing laundry for the folks.
They have these big trucks and vans outfitted with washing machines. The trucks and vans pull up to a disaster zone - where a hurricane has decimated a town or a neighborhood that was lost in a fire - and victims of such disasters can walk up to the trucks, hand over what's left of their clothes/sheets/towels/teddy bears to some nice folks who will do their laundry for free. At the end of the day, the laundry is folded neatly and ready for pick-up.
So rad and awesome!
Check it out, dollins. Thank you very much.
CoffeeOh, my! I'm a real product reviewer now - I'm running a contest on More Women Bold and Badass Review Blogs. It's for a one cup coffee maker called the Tassimo, which sounds sexy-Italian, doesn't it? I had my very own sexy-Italian Hubs test drive the Tassimo, a very handsome and well made Bosch appliance, in his office. Check it, dollins. And, enter the contest! You might win and then you'll be the envy of your own cubicle world.
Go here now: For the Office Warrior - Tassimo One Cup Brewing!
Speaking
I know! Fun! More details soon. I can say this much - I will be in a panel with Sarah, Suebob, Maria and Laurie and we will NOT be talking about moms. I know! Weird!
...and a Beach-side RestaurantThe Hubs has been commuting to the Dominican Republic for his company's R&D program. Sometime in the first quarter of 2010, he will need to live there for a month to focus on the project. I will tag along as esposa/mujer/novia. Hubs is there right now, doing his project thing and scouting the Santo Domingo area for villas and such for our long term stay. While reconnoitering, he sent me these pics of a lovely place to dine (and bed!) on the beach. Because I think you're fabulous for reading my silly old blog, I want to share these pics as I know you need a dose of the sunny, warm tropics:
I am part of a special holiday Blog Carnival hosted on Blog Nosh Magazine and this post was sponsored by the Tide Loads of Hope program.
Before she lived in her safe and snug redwood house by the sea; before she met a man who loves her from the top of her head to her toes; before she birthed and raised and set free into the world her beautiful and bright brown eyed daughter, before 20 years of work in a series of rewarding occupations; before she labored at two sometimes three jobs in a big city as she put herself through college; before the richness, goodness and accomplishments of her life today, she was a 17 year old girl with just $200 and a backpack full of books and some clothes to her name.
She was on her own three days before she turned 18 and her high school graduation. She missed the ceremony to find work. On her birthday she found a job in the mountains, in the loving caress of nature. Though she was young, she intuitively knew that the embrace of twig, stone, river, mountain and sky would help her heal from the carnage she had known all her life in her parents' household.Peaceful and blessed holidays to all.
Loads of Hope for the Holidays
The Tide Loads of Hope program in action after the San Diego Wildfires
of 2008. More on the Tide Loads of Hope Flickr photostream here.
Please join us at Blog Nosh Magazine as we share stories of hope this holiday season in support of the Tide Loads of Hope program, a mobile laundromat offering laundry services to families affected by disasters.
Share your own stories of hope, along with Blog Nosh Magazine, Velveteen Mind, and a gathering of inspiring bloggers, and enter your own post link in the blog carnival below. Visit Blog Nosh Magazine to explore featured bloggers as well as three featured posts selected from carnival participants listed in the linky (that could be you!).
Lend your voices now, then participate live during a two day event in New Orleans, Sunday and Monday, December 13 and 14, as we tweet stories of resilience from laundry recipients and volunteers on the ground. Follow along on twitter via #loadsofhope and be sure to follow @TideLoadsofHope.
Learn more about how you can extend hope to families affected by disasters by visiting Tide Loads of Hope.
Blog carnival hosted by Blog Nosh Magazine, sponsored by Tide Loads of Hope.
How do the holidays fill you with loads of hope?
My friends, I spent much of this year speaking out to survivors of child sexual, physical and psychological abuse by their parent(s)/family member(s). Though it's really shaky at times to stand up and speak at the podium, whether in real life or in online writing, I have been compelled, more than ever, to say something, anything and everything, to my true Brothers and Sisters who share this awful, soul crushing history. As my dear friend and the great blogger Deb Roby reminds me, it is my talking year, after all. (At this moment, I can't find the post where I tell you all about one of my MOs: I talk less during even numbered years - the quiet year. And, I talk more during the odd numbered years - the talking year.)
And, as I was compelled to stand in front of an audience of hundreds this past summer to tell you to Forgive Yourself, I am just as driven to present this blog post to all of you who need to learn or remember strategies for coping during the Holidays. These designated days for family are lovely in theory but outright painful for those of us who have been abused by family and/or adults close to us when we were young. We need to remember that we made it this far and we can go further. The way to do that is to get some help. I'd like to think this list will be helpful.
Please add your own strategies for coping in the comments. Let's share this precious information. Let's help one another.
Friends, these survival strategies have worked for me in the past and will work for me today and at Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day, our abusers' birthdays, Easter, funerals, weddings - anytime I have to be with my family of origin. I'm 54 years old and have been around long enough to sort out what works and what doesn't, so I'm giving you my best here, dollins.
First, and most importantly, this is the primary principle to follow when you're in the presence of perpetrators and their allies:
Remember this always -
DO NOT ABANDON YOURSELF.
I can't say this enough - do not abandon yourself.
You were abandoned as a child. You did not deserve this. No child deserves this. So, as adults, we take care of ourselves as if we are our own precious child. Imagine taking your child-self gently but firmly by their lovely, grubby little hand and getting them out of harm's way. There are many ways to do this whether you are in the presence of perpetrators and their allies (like your own dismissive and scornful siblings who get angry whenever you mention the legacy and source of your pain) or if you're in a place where you may be triggered.
The following is listed in no particular order of importance because it's all important. I respect that some of these ideas may work for you, some may not. As long as you keep that all-encompassing guidance "Do not abandon yourself" in mind, you can take it from there.
Here we go:
Remember who you are TODAY. You are no longer a child. Indeed, there is a hurt child who is alive and well within you. But, now you're an adult who can make choices. Don't forget, you are an adult and you have power over your life.
One of the choices you can make is to not go to the abusive family's house. You don't have to go. You can tell them you're sick if you can't tell them the actual reason for your absence. It's okay to "lie" in this situation if fear keeps you from telling the truth of the matter. It's not really a lie, though. The abuse was and is responsible for its consequences that you may suffer from - depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder.
If you do "call in sick", don't answer the phone if you know your abusive family members are trying to call your cell or land line To this, I say - thank you, technology, for caller ID. Don't answer the calls from your abusive family members for up to a week. Then, if you must, call back and say you're feeling better. And, when I say"better", I mean that you're probably doing great because you didn't spend time with people who were not good to you and continue to be bad to you.
If you have to be with abusive family members, do whatever you need to do to stay centered as you cannot abandon yourself and you need to remember who you are today.
Staying centered may involve many tactics:
Go to your abuser's house with your real family, your husband, your kids, your chosen family of dear friends who believe in you. If you need support and active reminders of who you are now, take your supportive people with you. These people are your true family members who love you, won't abandon you and remind you of who you are today.
This is a big one - STAY SOBER. I cannot emphasize that enough. If you get drunk or high, you will lose that centered spot. You will relax, that's true, but it's a false sense of ease. Do take your Xanax if necessary but stick to your prescribed dose. The Bloggess will always recommend that you should avoid knocking back handfuls of the Judy Garland Trail Mix. And, there you go, a little Bloggess humor for you on a tough day.
Help in the kitchen. Be involved with the preparation. Do this only if such activities are not triggering. I always do this. I put my head down and work. I set the table, I do the dishes, I cook. I put my head down and work it, like a Zen monk whose practice includes performing chores mindfully. That's an excellent way to stay centered, pretending to be a Zen monk and doing tasks wholeheartedly.
Sit by a window so you can look outside. When you pull in the outside world as you sit with those who abandoned you, the world becomes that much bigger. There's more out there, beyond the dark cave of the abuser's house.
Go beyond looking out the window and get out there in that bigger world. Expand your universe. The abuser's house or the house with the abusers in it is not the core of the world. The world is beyond that house. In this world there are people who believe in you and love you unconditionally. That world contains your working life where you are valued or perhaps your university studies where you excel. So, go outside for a few minutes and take a walk in the bigger world.
Put your therapist's number on fast dial. Call anytime. Even if you reach their voice mail, leave a message. Don't fret if they don't call back. Instead, revel in the knowledge that you were wise enough to reach out. You asked for help and that action alone is therapeutic.
Keeping your therapist in mind, remember the tricks and tools they have suggested to help you through these tough times. For example, I like to use what all of my therapists taught me - the classic meditation exercise of sitting comfortably and going to my inner place of refuge. FYI - it's a beach on the Big Island of Hawaii. Not bad, eh?
Minimize conversation with the perpetrator and anyone who has been abusive to you. Again, you can say you're not feeling well, you have a headache, you need to be quiet. And, again, you ain't lying here. That person makes you feel unwell and your head probably hurts when you're around them.
If you cannot avoid conversations with those people, keep something in your pocket to remind yourself of who you are today. I use a little plastic monkey from the Barrel of Monkeys toy-game. Small and with a defined shape, the monkey reminds me of the relative light heartedness of my life away from the abusers. Also, a monkey is not to be messed with and you can pretend the monkey is throwing feces at whoever needs to be taken down.
You can also keep your cell phone on to Twitter, Facebook or chat or whatever you use for social media interactions. Set it to buzz everytime you get an update. Another reminder of the bigger world out there and that you're part of that bigger, better world.
Okay, get ready for this big one, survivors:
Remembering you are an adult of legal age, Walk out the door the second things get gnarly. Just go.
Everyone, no matter how badaas and brave they seem to be, is scared shitless to do this. I was scared to do this. But, I've done it and I'll do it again if I need to because it felt exhilarating, liberating and life affirming.
Don't leave yelling, but if you do, try to cry, yell some more or laugh really hard once you're out the door to release what is truly an emotional atomic bomb full of energy. Really try to do that before you get in the car. Do not drive home in an intense emotional state as you are not centered and in control. Respect your anger and anguish and give it time to release and subside. You will feel better and that will help you think clearly as you operate that moving vehicle.
Once you're back home, take a long, hot shower or bath. Put on clean sweats or pajamas, rev up the TV and watch football or, better yet, that really cool and amazing CNN special about heroes.
Do upbeat things. Listen to music. Try this empowering song by Tori Amos:
I'll end here with a visual command from me:
You can do it. Yes, you can.
Take good care today and on every holiday, my brothers and sisters. "Take to the sky," dollins.
And yes, please tell us, share what you do to get through the holidays.
Peaceful, warm and blessed Thanksgiving Day to all of you, my good readers. I am grateful for your company. Thanks for listening to me.
Love, GraceD
The best way to get your blog current and caught up is to do it Mimi Smartypants style - formatting your updates, travelogues, and randomata in handy blocks of information. I believe Ms. Smartypants does not own a copyright to this methodology, but we must credit her, nonetheless. Ms. Smartypants is one of our Great Founding Mothers of Blogging, and we bow down.
Without further ado, some catch-up, a road trip, a report of a new blog:
Catch-Up
I wanted to have a WoolfCamp this weekend, coincidentally called WoolfCamp Catch-Up Camp, where we would convene at my house and work on stuff, whether craft/cooking/creating/conspiring. But, too much is happening with our elders, most especially my dear mother-in-law (fan of the Clash), now at 92 and not doing well. In the last three months, her health has deteriorated alarmingly and rapidly. She's been in and out of the hospital. This lovely lady who always kept busy is weak and confined to her apartment home in Florida. The Hubs has been on stand-by, ready to jump on a plane to be at her side. We're a bit on the edge around here and that's not a good environment for WoolfCamp or any gathering at the house. So, WoolfCamp has been postponed until after the holidays.
More on catch-up (I so want to say "ketchup"), I think my other hip is going out. To which I say FUCK! And, CRAP! I have not seen my fabulous orthopedic surgeon because, right now, I just can't face this. I plan to kick myself into making all the arrangements at the beginning of the year and get another hip arthroscopy going along with the prerequisite MRI and the procedure where they inject contrast into my left hip using a giant scary needle. Oh, that hurt. I'll get on the horn and sort all that out, but first I need to put my fist through a couple of walls. Well, some cardboard or styrofoam walls, or maybe I'll just pop some bubble wrap.
Given my mom-in-law's poor health (and certainly my own mother, who is losing her memory at age 76. Way too young, in my book.) and this hip thing, I'm looking square in the face of my own mortality.
And, so, here it is, I have arrived: Mid Life Crisis.
And, one way to deal with that? Road Trip.
Road Trip
Oh, it's not like I jumped into a new, red Corvette and put on Cougar clothes, big hair and false eyelashes to cure the Mid Life Crisis. I am not that exciting. Our kids, on the other hand, are very exciting and seeing them is a better remedy for the aging blues than tight knit tops with plunging necklines.
We've been planning this road trip to Southern California for some time for two important events - our kiddo Jenn's first half-marathon in Santa Barbara and a dinner with kiddo Tracy and her fiance Brian in Los Angeles to celebrate their engagment.
First stop: Santa Barbara, where Jenn and her husband Mike make their cozy home with their pup Washy. Jenn set a goal for herself this year - train for and run a half marathon. And, she met that goal last Saturday in an easy-peasy 2:09. I'm insisting that a marathon should be next. This running thing is in their blood - a couple of weeks ago, older sister Tiffany finished the New York City Marathon in 3:38 which qualified her to run the Boston Marathon next April.
Our fleet-footed daughters are awesome, Internet.
We then headed further south for more awesome people - Tracy and her beloved Brian who has been busy. The Silversun Pickups have been on the road for months since the release of Swoon. Last weekend was a window of opportunity to catch Brian at home and we feted them at their favorite restaurant, Palate in, of all places, Glendale. And, we're talking deep Glendale, square in the middle of this fair city's auto row on South Brand Boulevard.
Brian's doing great, though I think he's a bit too skinny and I'd really like to feed him three giant meals a day for month. He may be one of those lucky humans who have the speedy metabolism of a squirrel or, more likely, he doesn't have time to eat. His is a nutty schedule - Brian's planned rest, the aforementioned window of opportunity, was interrupted with a jaunt up to San Francisco for a corporate party (Verizon's launch of the Droid. No, Brian didn't get one.) The following day he had two shows, one in the afternoon and another corporate event (KIA. He probably didn't get one of those, either). Apparently, the money's fabulously great for these corporate events and I'm all for the kids pulling in money.
The next day Tracy took us to another favorite eating spot, Little Dom's in Los Feliz. We ate outside with our dogs, Malcolm, having accompanied us on this trip, and Stella, Tracy's crazy-happy mutt. It was perfect Los Angeles weather for dining al fresco, the afternoon temp in the 70s, the Autumn sun low, no longer glaring and not at all too-bright (I always think of Joan Didion thrwarting the glare with her big sunglasses when I bask in the Los Angeles light). Tracy shared little gossipy bits about her friends, apprised us on the progress of her own band, Twilight Sleep, and provided more information on the wedding plans at Lake Maggiore in Italy next May. Hubs and I are crazy-happy like Stella about going to Italy for the wedding then spending a week in Venice afterwards.
Then, off to the Silver Lake Dog Park, adjacent to the Silver Lake Reservoir. We watched the dogs run in packs then peel off from the group to trot merrily on their own. Tracy's lead guitar for her band, a very lovely young woman named Nicole, showed up to say hello and I thought: How perfect - we're in this legendary metropolis, the throbbing molten core of the film, TV and music industries, in a dog park where there had to be other "industry" people, some of them major VIPs without their entourage and limos, who live nearby in the wooded nooks and crannies of Silver Lake, a hot-hot-hot neighborhood, watching their dogs fly and swoop around the park - and Tracy's lead guitarist shows up to say hello.
It all felt so fresh and made me glow inside. What Mid Life Crisis?
New Blog
More Women needed to go out and kick some product reviewing butt, so I created the More Women Bold and Badass Product Reviews blog.
The inaugural post is gwendomama's taming of the Cuisinart Elite 4-Cup Chopper. Or, did it tame her? Whatever, it's an excellent kick-off to the blog because gwendomama is bold and badass for including a Key Lime Bar recipe to demo the mad skillz of the Cuisinart's graham cracker chopping and Key Lime filling batter mixing.
So, Ms. Blogger over there: Do you want to join us? Here are two very good reasons why you should -
(1) You want to do product reviews. Lots of us do. But, lots of us don't want to mess with the voice and sensibility of our personal blogs. Yet, you're itching to do an exposé/evaluation of a product or service you hated/loved. So, now, with the More Women review blog, you have a venue without messing with the pithy-emo-confessional tone of your blog.
(2) You don't want to participate in a mommy blogger product review group blog. You could care less about animal print diaper covers, Fisher Price toys and hipster-baby onesies with ironic messages. We hear you. We won't be doing those sort of reviews. No stuff for parents/kids unless we review a parent/kid product that has been repurposed for the rest of us such as, the best baby oil to remove eye make-up or the humidifier that's normally used to break up a kid's mucous but you use it as white noise to help you sleep (it's been done! it works!).
Write me at morewomenreviews@gmail.com. I'll set you up. You'll be bold and badass in no time. Wait! You already are!
Hey now, this was fun. I should use the Mimi Smartypants format more often. I should blog more often. Yeah, I should.
Love to you, Good Dollins.
(screeeeeeech...dust flying...slams into the home blog)
Whew! I'm back.
Hello. How are you? Really? That's great! (or) That sucks!
Me? Hey, I'm fabulous because I finished up this project and launched it the other day:
CUTE banner, don't you think? No, I had nothing to do with making this banner but I did pick the best web designer around, the lovely Daisy Olsen of WP Mama, who geeked the site, resourced the graphic arts and allowed me pester her on a daily basis for several months. Daisy, you survived this bossy client, may you be blessed with cooler, calmer customers from here on out.
The story about the site is in my blog entry at the top of the home page of Product Review Round-Up, or "prrrup" as I like to say when I'm in a hurry and/or want to roll my r's. Yes, please do click on over there, I have ads galore on the site and with each hit my site makes a little "ka-chiing!" noise.
But, if you want all the news now, here's a summary:
Here's a very nice pic of buff Tiffany to the left of the aforementioned Jenny. Tiff's looking skeptical at whatever is on display/being demonstrated. I think it's good to have a buff skeptic as a business partner/pardner.
Jenny appears to join Tiff in the skepticism, though you never know as Jen could also be on the verge of cracking a joke.
No mention of the Ninja event is complete without this pic of Laurie and Devra en route to the event. I love my friends because they don't care what strangers on a train may think of them as they pose threateningly in full Ninja attack mode.
Finally, because we're all about the 21st century and Social Media, we have a Twitter account, @ChiefWrangler.
Now, if you published a product review on your blog and want to send it to my attention, Tweet me or email me at -
uncommoncowgirl@gmail.com
"Uncommon cowgirl" indeed. We Filipinas are tough babes, but we are not known for rustling the water buffalo around the rice fields.
There you go, good readers! I hope you take a look at the "prrrrup"!
And now, Git Along Little Doggies, Yippee-yi-yo-kai-yay, and Happy Trails to you/'til we meet again, my dollins.
This bracelet, an odd but strangely sweet gift from Molly, says it all about the week I had. Malcolm's ears, normally folded over in beguiling little flaps, punctuates the bracelet's message - Yoda ears, straight up like two exclamation points
Oy, the week I had! Sick, oh, was I sick. Oy, the sickness I had! Yes, I am channeling a Jewish grandmother to help me write this post.
Your beloved Bubbeh aside, oops I did it again, I caught some crazy bug directly after a BlogHer conference. The title of the last post is right on point - I really should get out a heck of a lot more because my wimpy immune system needs steady and frequent exposure to the world's germs. This particular germ hit me bad - Fever, hacking cough, malaise, a feeling like my body was slammed around in a mosh pit at a Black Flags show. All symptoms met the criteria for Swine Flu. Did I have it checked out? No, because I did not want to get out of bed.
Am I done, yet? About the bad week? Not entirely:
Any time I was awake, I messed with this blog. A big mistake for someone like me who, even on a healthy day, can pull off some pretty ugly errors in geeking. I needed to do something while I had the Swine Flu/cold/whatever, so I occupied myself by joining another ad network, configuring the ads and, with the ambition only Nyquil can provide, I put up a new banner. Attempting those tasks put me - and the blog - in a near-coma. Everything looks fine and dandy now, but if you just happened to check out this site between 1:00 to 5:00 am Pacific Standard Time on certain late nights/early mornings this past week, you would have seen everything in dire disarray. The size of one banner I uploaded occupied the entire screen of my MacBook monitor, sending the main body of the blog down to the basement of the Internet. Another banner installation resulted in the margins squishing up against the sides of the screen and, I swear to you, I honestly believe I heard The State of Grace let out a long, high pitched scream, not unlike the haunting cry of the dying lobster, a-boil in the pot.
Then, the ads. The ads! Oy, the ads! I was accepted by another network, one that I would not feel badly and guilty about if I didn't post frequently (yeah, like getting out more, I should post more, too) as I was nicely asked to do while a member of the excellent BlogHer Ad Network. Our friends at BlogHer holds your hand and makes you a cup of tea as they assist you, step by step, in adding ad content to your blog space. With my new network, Six Apart Media, you're on your own. Bad news for you, Nyquil addled Grace Davis! I tried to install a "skyscraper" ad, one located directly under the banner. Observe above - that didn't fly and sure, it may have been the heady alcohol rush of my Nyquil dosing, but I heard that high pitched scream from the monitor again. After trying one configuration after another, I had success with the one modest vertical banner, over to the left. Make me feel better and click that, would you, please? Thank you.I am humbled by Ree's lovely and generous acknowledgment. She didn't have to do this, she has far more important things to do like herding cattle, homeschooling her beautiful children and cooking big vats of delicious ranch food for her family. But, it seems that Ree wanted to assist me in spreading the word of self-forgiveness for survivors of child abuse and domestic violence. From this gracious act, I have a lovely group of new readers from Ree's vast audience of thousands (an awesome two million readers a month).
So, welcome to my blog, new readers! Thank you for being here.
Dollin regular readers, thank you for always being here.
Swine Sickness, get outta here, already.
As for the state of The State of Grace, we continue, wobbly and with a Nyquil hangover, but still, very much here.
While the gluten eaters were consuming, a handsome young man expertly worked the crowd with a wireless mike clipped on to his muscle shirt. I prodded my pal Charlene, she of Diary of a Crazed Mommy blog fame, and clued me in - handsome young man was one Rocco DiSpirito.
It's a good thing I didn't have the scoop on young Rocco otherwise I would not have had the nerve to take this Cougar-intensive picture:
So, the title of this post refers to me getting out more. Maybe I should go back inside. Or, maybe not.
No, it's good for me to be out and about. For one thing, meeting up with the people I love, most especially my blogger pals, means that I go out to eat. Kindly note the image of my friends Kalyn and Christine aiming their lenses at the dessert bowls (a crumble to the left, a poached pear to the right). It looks slightly rude, if not a little clinical, but the smart restaurant will honor and welcome this level of enthusiasm. This is a classic food blogger move, and if you as a restauranteur say no to camera wielding diners, you're saying no to the press. Bad move. Could shut you down. Serious here.
Wait. WAIT. Cocktail hour. End of conference. I'll be back.
I am very reluctant but now, this proud American liberal, must say goodbye to Camelot.
It is gone. It is over. And, my grief is huge.
Um, it's been, what, a month since BlogHer? Two weeks since my last post? Yes? Yes. Oh, yes.
I have a good excuse this time. A really, really good excuse: I started another blog. I did it it in a mere 10 minutes while sitting in a sun filled vacation rental at the famous Sea Ranch on the Northern California coast. Our great fortune in staying at Sea Ranch came about by the horrendous misfortune and loving generosity of the fabulous VDog who broke her ankle in multiple places while she was hanging out at the same sun filled vacation rental. Instead of finishing up her two week stay, VDog had a lot of Vicodan to consume as well as a pressing need to return to civilization for a hot date with an orthopedic surgeon. She offered the second week of the Sea Ranch house to Hubs, Malcolm and me. Like unfeeling opportunists, we took it.
Looking out to the deck of the Sea Ranch vacation rental where the new blog was created.
The birth of the new blog involves Twitter, the Ford Taurus and the fact that I'm probably older than you. I swear, it's all connected and bullet pointed, as follows:
The mission statement:
More Women will provide a collective voice and resource for women whose
lifestyle choices, phase in life and blogs precludes a focus on
parenting.
More Women will provide opportunities for members/bloggers who
wish to be available to marketers, companies and organizations as guides and
participants in product evaluation.
I truly want this to fly and fly high enough for all to see that it's not just mothers who are powerful consumers, all women are. So, we need members. We need PR and marketing contacts. We could use some advertisers so we can fund our own events. If you can help, then come forward and sign up - in your pajamas, even!
As to the title of this post, somehow that odd little sentence/demand seemed to keep coming up when I was setting up the blog and network. I was entertaining this curious imagery of a soldier galloping on a horse over the battlefield then making his way to the officer in charge, a female general. He needed reinforcements, he needed the best, and he saluted his commander and said to her: "General, we need MORE WOMEN!"
Namaste, good dollins.
Here you go, the Tweet that tells a thousand stories. I posted this ten minutes after I read my post for the BlogHer Community Keynote two weeks ago. In these past two weeks, I've been in rehab, recovery and rejuvenating mode. With this post, I'm ready to reboot.
Recovering from attending BlogHer does not imply that the event was a negative experience. Certainly, the Keynote was not easy - I take on the anxiety of 10,000 Woody Allens when it comes to speaking in public. Add to that the emotional charge of my post and you're reduced to posting one word Tweets as demonstrated by the image above. But, that's really it as far as letting events at BlogHer "get to me". If anything did get me, it was the legendary BlogHerBola, flu-like symptoms that show up two to three days after BlogHer weekend. I had a week's worth of the BHBola which makes me feel like I did BlogHer fully and completely.
I actually think I did "do" BlogHer in a way that worked well for me. I planned it all pretty carefully, knowing I would be nervous before the Keynote and, following the read, relieved but slightly jittery in that "whew-it's-fucking-over" way. In contrast to how I've "done" BlogHer in the past - staying up late, drinking until late, running late, trying to see all my friends but only managing to squeeze in brief hellos and hugs - I took it easy and took care of myself:
I also allowed myself these luxuries:
And, expanded my perspective by:
I have much to share about more listening/less talking. I knew this would happen to me after reading my fierce but tender message about forgiving yourself. The core of this BlogHer 2009 experience was about listening to my fellow sister and brother survivors of child abuse and domestic violence. But, this is indeed fierce and tender stuff that warrants more attention and words than what I'm doing right now - hastily getting a blog post in before the day unfolds.
And, what a day it's going to be - starting with the soul-satisfying tasks of puttering around in the garden, hanging with Molly who has moved in with us (this delights me to no end), waiting for my husband to return from a business trip, then going to a Melissa Etheridge concert with my dear friend Jodee who I have known for (gulp) 42 years.
May all of you have a day as fabulous as this.
May all of you find self-forgiveness.
Then, when you have arrived at that place of peace, coming to wholeness and a full sense of self, may you let go of that selfhood and become one with all.
Love to you, Dollin Readers.
