Come, let us gather 'round the Christmas tree and tell our mono stories.

MOM! Why is my skin yellow?

It's because you have mononucleosis with a side dish of hepatitis, my darling monkey girl.

Waaaah!

And thus, the doctor at our local urgent care clinic pinned a diagnosis to the constellation of Moll's symptoms - the mystery fatigue, swollen lymph nodes alarmingly bunchy and fat, and a mid-range fever that would not quit.  Mono! The malady of legend! The disease of worn down, overachieving college and high school students!

The kissing disease!

Molly comes from good, healthy stock - South Dakota prairie roots on her Dad's side ("I did my paper route every day even when it was 20 below, so don't complain about the rain to me!"), and my own legacy of badass yet well groomed slot machine gambling  Filipina matriarchs  ("Ay, naman, we go now on the bus to Reno and  play the quarter slots! We be back tomorrow bammby!") ('bammby' = by and by).  Clearly, Molly is the stuff of high quality genetic hybridization, resulting in an ultra hardy human who can pump coins into a slot machine outdoors in an ice storm. 

However, for all this Super Race business, Molly is sick, sick, sick.  So sick - she can't text or  instant message.  It's that serious.

Thus, we will mark Christmas 2005 as The Mono Christmas.  God help us if our Mono Yuletide pushes aside  Rox's grim perm on fire! incident as the Bluest Christmas Evah. 

Dear Readers, tell us and the entire Internets your mononucleosis story.    Or someone else's bout with the kissing disease.  Did you think you had meningitis?  Were you laid up in bed for months and had to repeat 10th grade?  Or, were you such an anal, perfect student that even with profound fatigue and a blisteringly high fever,  you showed up for finals anyway?  (Wait, no, don't confess that to the Internets as you will be roundly scorned and hated.)

Mono Christmas everyone.  Sigh....

Comments

[Ellen]

You poor things! How long until it is over? That's terrible. I feel so bad for all of you. Every parents' nightmare. I really hope Molly bounces back quickly.

Ummmmm... Can you get it over the internets?

[landismom]

Ohh, too bad for your poor girl! Our babysitter just came down with mono, so we are having a date-less Christmas, but that pales in comparison to yours. Hope she gets better soon!

[Lin]

Poor, poor kid. It is a miserable illness. My daughter, Jane, had mono in the 11th grade and I had to almost go to war with the local school district who were trying to tell me that this very sick child (who was missing several weeks of school and couldn't participate in gym class due to a swollen spleen for another month) wouldn't graduate with her class unless she could make up the gym credits she missed. This kid was also on the tennis team, soccer team and poms. It's not like she just sat around eating bon bons like her Ma all the time. I'm sure the local Santa Cruz school district is much more humanitarian than the Shorewood School District of Shorewood, WI. This was 1986 and it STILL MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL. It's a nasty, debilitating illness which she will come out of as perfect as ever. I'm sorry she has to go through it, though, because it's no fun.

[pam]

Poor Moll! I know nothing about either disease, but I'm sure she's getting the best medical care around, and the best loving care at home. Feel better soon, kiddo.

[impossiblejane]

Oh dear. Hope Molly has a speedy recovery. I had nothing as bad as mono on Christmas but one Christmas I woke up with rather large (think 50 cent coin size) welts all over my body. I had had some sort of allergic reaction to something or other. They itched like hell and I looked like I had some sort of flesh eating bacteria taking over my body.

Take care. Be well, Jane

[Margaret]

No mono stories YET thank god. I am surprised that younger daughter and her whole gym don't get it; they are always drinking each other's waters or sports drinks. (even though I have tried to scare her about it)

[Nytro]

Oh.. that sucks for her! I had mono my freshman year of high school. My parents kept me home for a week and I was only allowed to get out of bed to pee. The kept me drinking tons of fluids so I got up to pee a lot. After that first week, I was allowed to go back to school, but had to come straight home after and then get back in bed.

I just remember that I was so sleepy all the time before I was diagnosed.

Please, please, please make sure your girl takes care of herself and gets over it. I had an art teacher in high school that had mono, didn't take care of himself and ended up getting epstein bar (which is chronic fatigue/mono). That's a tough life to lead.

[beth]

Ahhh...mono...the memories come screaming back to me. I had it in lieu of a Sweet 16. Two months in bed. Sleeping. Missed so much of trig that I was excused for the rest of the year but managed to catch up with the rest of my classes--it was the 11th grade.

I recovered. But the phone call to Gary Goldstein, the very cute senior boy I'd been playing suck face at some weekend school retreat the weekend before I was diagnosed, was one of the hardest calls I've ever had to make. Too bad they didn't have this in 1975.

[Michelle]

I never had it--I had something similar, but worse, the name of which I forgotten, because it is so rare. I survived just fine. Sorry to hear that you all are having to deal with mono! Awful!

As far as strong sturdy stock goes, maybe there's a subtle "inbreeding" effect that goes on. Like, two parents who have perfect teeth produce a child who has Arkansas teeth. (This is the case with Sage's adult teeth, shown to me in X-Rays as tears filled my eyes.) I couldn't figure it out...Must start dental savings plan now.

[chasmyn]

Oh, poor girl. I hope she recovers quickly.

[Dave]

Really sorry to hear about Molly, I do hope that she feels well again soon and that you and your family have a great Christmas.

[rio]

i dont know how many times i wished i had mono so i could get out of school for weeks at a time, but i guess i wasnt doing enough kissing in high school. good luck molly

[badger]

Poor Molly! Ow! what is your snail mail, so I can send something cheering!

[angela]

I hope she feels better soon. About three years ago we had a lice christmas....All 5 of us thanks to some child in my kids school :( Imagine us all sitting there itching missing the family christmas party! No fun!

[Chichimama]

I am so sorry, mono seems to be going around these days.

And yep, I was laid up for 2 months in 9th grade, and while I didn't have to repeat the whole year, I did have to repeat 9th grade math and science.

Hope she's better soon...

[Jenny]

Oh no! Poor Mol! Give her my love, and best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Between my three cases of pink eye, two cases of pneumonia and your mono in a pear tree it sounds like a quiet Christmas for both our households.

[Tonya]

Poor Molly. I never had mono, but I've known a number of kids who did, and it's a down-and-out ordeal that can last for a quite a long time. I'm surprised there isn't medication that better treats it these days (maybe there is?) I just recall that the kids missed an awful lot of school. A friend's daughter came down with it a couple years ago (at 16) and she really had to be kept down and quiet and resting, even when she was starting to feel better. My understanding is that it can relapse if not taken care of.

Actually? I wouldn't mind having it right about now. Lots of rest/sleep and missing godawful work! (Sorry, I don't mean to make light of it -- I know Moll is likely feeling pretty darned punk, especially at Christmas time!)

[Koan Bremner]

Mono - I think that's what we refer to in the UK as glandular fever? Well, I've had the latter - so if it turns out that they're not the same, you can write this off as a completely irrelevant comment. But then, that's usually a good idea with my comments...

1984 - Koan, having been at University a term, decided that she didn't get on with the course she was taking, and left University to rethink her options. Needing an outlet for her pent-up energy, she took up long-distance running with a passion - half-marathons, 30 km cross-country, full marathons - and was deep in a strenuous training program for an upcoming race when, after a 15 mile training run, she felt, basically, shite. Up to the Doctor's surgery - one look, sent for blood tests - diagnosis confirmed, glandular fever. A couple of months of major wiped-outedness ensues.

Meanwhile, she's decided that the best course of action for her academic conundrum is to go back to the same University and take the same course. Except that now her College won't let her back until her Doctor gives the all-clear - and he won't give that until her blood tests clear. Weekly tests begin - term starts at the beginning of October - she's still at home. November arrives - and the College say that, unless she can return by mid-November, she'll have to write off this year and return the following October. Finally, the blood tests clear, and she returns to College on the last possible day they'll allow.

Still as weak as a kitten, she manages to successfully find a way *not* to pass her first year exams. Still, they let her back - when she cruises through her second year exams, despite taking them in the sick bay when her appendix nearly burst a week beforehand. Surely, her final year would be free of medical incident? As if... she spent most of it either down the physiotherapy department at the local hospital (she'd wrecked her knee, had arthroscopic surgery, and would subsequently have knee reconstruction surgery) or in the arms of a physiotherapy student with whom she'd fallen in love (maybe she was planning ahead for her ongoing convalescence). Whatever - she slunk out of University with an ignominiously feeble degree. Still, it never proved an obstacle.

What was the question, again? ;)

[zeldafleo]

The medication that was given to me when I had mono my senior year of high school actually made it difficult to fall asleep! It really sucked. I was so tired,yet so unable to sleep. The only thing that kept me going was when my understudy called me at home and said she'd have no problem taking over the lead in the play if I didn't get better. You're damn right I got better before that happened! I mean I am a Leo after all...

[Sadie]

Beth wrote: "But the phone call to Gary Goldstein, the very cute senior boy I'd been playing suck face at some weekend school retreat the weekend before I was diagnosed, was one of the hardest calls I've ever had to make."

You're singin' to the choir, girl! Except I was 24 and the guy's name was Peter... 24 years later, I'm happy to say we're still good friends.

[Tina]

I got Mono when I was 27 & teaching High School. Kind of embarrassing, since I had students with it! I got it the week before Thanksgiving, and it took me through Christmas break to really get over it. I went back to work part of the time, but it was tough. When I did try to push myself to go back to work, I almost passed out in the shower one morning. I remember getting tired from sitting at the computer, doing Christmas shopping on-line! I was also trying to plan a wedding during that time! Anyway, fond memories (HA!).

[Liora]

Yep. I had it when I was 19 or 20 in college. In the summer I worked at McDonalds in the drive-thru. We all wore those dorky headsets to talk to the customers. Everybody who wore a headset got mono (from the microphone, I guess; we weren't all kissing).

I didn't know that's what it was at first, but the lethargy was there and then the horrible lymph nodes and huge tonsils, and nausea, vomiting. I went to the doctor and had liver function tests that returned abnormal. They thought at first it was hepatitis, but viola! "just" mono. I just remember being absolutely miserable for a while. They can do some kind of blood count and see when it's about at its worse and when it's starting to get better. Other than that, they're not much else they can do. That's the frustrating thing.

I went to college, feeling nauseated right up to the plane flight. We weren't sure if it was the right decision. I survived, but it wasn't fun. Added to that were roommates who didn't understand and stayed up late making lots of noise. You feel like you could use 16 hours of sleep and then still not feel rested. Miserable stuff.

Supposedly you can't get it again once you've had it. Thank god for small blessings. Not everybody who gets mono gets it bad like this, though. My X had it, and didn't have the sore throat. The doc treated him like he was just trying to get out of work until a blood test proved it. Have heard the same from others. Poor Molly!

[Crystal]

No mono story, but I had a mystery illness most of my teens. No, not the puberty kind, I was fatigued, with chronically swollen lymph nodes, and low grade fevers for most of high school. Hmm, every blood test in the Western world couldn't diagnose me, not mono, not Lyme, not lymphoma, not the plague. Whatevah... I just got better at some point, or at least the lymph nodes went down. Hope Molly is feeling better soon!