Grounded. For life.

We have returned from an idyllic and relaxing break in the mountains only to find that my teen had a party at the house while we were gone. 

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We found evidence of boozing in the form of a Bacardi Rum screw-on top and empty beer cans thrown in the yard. 

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Some things are missing from the armoire in our bedroom.  Some very personal and private things.  I'd be embarrassed about this if I wasn't so pissed. 

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Consequences were meted - parents will be notified, my house will be thoroughly cleaned by the party-goers, an investigation will be conducted to identify the thief of the "very personal and private things". 

And, needless to say...

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The State of Grace Editor for Adolescent Affairs has agreed to the publication of this blog entry and probably saw that coming, anyway.

Comments

[wordgirl]

Okay...I'm not going to ask what they took. I have an imagination. Those kids need to learn a lesson about screwing with other peoples' property. I wouldn't want to be your kid right about now...but any other time...absolutely.

[leahpeah]

ah, man. grace, i'm so sorry. good luck getting your things back. i'll send good thoughts your way.
xo

[Kris]

Holy Crap! I would NOT want to be in your house right now. Oh, Molly...how come dollin'? I know...because 15 year olds do crap like that. And some of them have never been heard from again.

I love the addition of the audio by the way...makes me feel your pain even more. Did you just light her up? Did you rip her a new one? I bet George didn't have to say a word.

Holy Crap.

[Denise]

LOLOLOLOLOLOL way to go Molly, heh. LOLOLOL Sorry Grace, it happens to all of us. It's a good lesson for Molly to learn. :-)

[Lin]

Yeah, well, I was pissed too when my very good 15-year old had a MAJOR party when we trusted her not to and where she CHARGED people she didn't know to just wander around our house and take and break crap and where she allowed the boys to pee and write their names in the snow. Every time it snowed and covered the evidence I breathed more easily, but then it would melt and I'd getting crazy, fucking furious again.

(so, from my Mum's house in England, can you tell I'm STILL pissed and STILL don't find it in the least amusing. BTW, Jane is now 36...get over it, Lin!)

Good luck with it all, Grace. I'd be pissed, too.

[Northern Girl]

This...THIS...what you came home to...is my fear. Not my greatest fear - but still - I fear for my child's life if...when...something like this happens.

[Liz]

Oh, dear. But Grace? I'd never leave the under 21 set at home without an adult. Why? Because of other people's children.

Here's what happened New year's Eve.

JumperGirl went to Jill, a friend's, house New Year's Eve. The parents said they'd be home--I checked. It was supposed to be a group of about 15 girls, ranging in age from juniors in high school to freshmen in college. The plot was they'd hang out, eat a lot, and watch movies.

Turns out (a) the parents weren't home and (b) someone (probably Jill) had mentioned to a group of boys that "just the girls" were going to be hanging out. Through the magic of cell phones and IM, by 11:00 pm there was a sort of home-invasion party going on, fueled by likkered up boys and some girls egging them on. Jill could not get the boys to leave.

Windows were broken. Lamps were broken. The family liquor cabinet was rifled. Jill and the other girls had no control.

JG has conceded that they erred in not calling 911 when the first group of boys--boys they knew--pushed their way into the house and refused to leave. She didn't "want to get the boys in trouble". We had a lot of productive talks about this.

Here's what happened to my sister. She'd planned a 15th birthday party for her son. VERY clear rules about who was invited, what would happen if she spotted alcohol, etc. Party was from 7-10 pm. At 9 pm, a group of older boys arrived with (liquor in their backpacks) with the intention of crashing the party. It took the combined will of the 4 adults in attendance to repel the invaders.

Here's what happened to my friend Linda, who had planned a 17th birthday party for her daughter. It was a pool party in the afternoon, with invitations that had to be shown at the door. About half-way through the party, a group of about 50 uninvited guests showed up. It took calling 911 and uniformed officers making arrests to get the situation back under control.

[GraceD]

My dears, thanks for your comments and support.

Dearest Liz, point well taken. Molly was not, however, left at the house alone. I have joint custody of the kid with her Dad/my ex, who lives two miles away. Moll came over to use my house for the party. The little $&@!. Her Dad/my ex is equally pissed that she lied. Moll is in trouble all around.

Looking through military school websites today. And convents. Also, Zen Buddhist retreats. Silent retreats. With lots of manual labor.

[savtadotty]

Elswhere, tell them about your party where we agreed beforehand I would hide out in my bedroom and call the police when the crashers arrived.

[landismom]

Great googlimoogli, Grace. How did you find the time to be funny after that experience? Whoa, that is just hard to imagine. I think you have handled this about as well as any parent could.

[chris]

Oh man, Grace.

The worst thing of all that has been lost or stolen is your trust. Sending you soul healing vibes.

[Mamacita]

I'm sorry this happened to you, Grace dear. The lesson about 'trust once broken is hard to get back' is one of the hardest of all lessons to learn. It can't be taught; it has to be learned the hard way. Sigh. As for you, dollin', GET HER!!!! A thorough "grounding," ahem, in etiquette should do it. And I hope you get your 'thangs' back.

Um, please post a pic when you do, 'k?

[Lindsay]

Aaaaugh! What can I say, except, this ALWAYS happens?! I was a good kid, but when my parents went out of town for a night, I considered it my duty to find a way to be up to no good. The only thing that saved my parents house was that they live in a gated community.

My husband grew up in LA and went to a teen party at a mansion where a drunk guy punched a hole through a Picasso. Yes. I'm totally serious.

[Elizabeth]

My first reaction was "not MOLLY!!" I'm sure you never in a million years thought she would do that.

Did the same thing in High School, got busted when my best friend drove drunk IN MY MOM'S CAR to her house. Her Mother asked her why she was driving my Mom's car, smelled the alcohol, etc. I was grounded and lost my license for six months. Served me right, now that I think about it.

[Margaret]

Geeze--it sounds like more fireworks than the Fourth of July! Take care and remember that parenting is full of these moments. Kids truly are kids!

[GetSheila]

Dear Young and Foolish Person:

I am incredibly disappointed in you. You left EVIDENCE lying about in the yard? That's as bad as some other teens I know who left beer bottle caps in the garbage disposal. Clankity Clankity Clank! Really, what WERE you thinking?

Well I hope you have learned your lesson: destroy all evidence; clean so the place shines; and never, EVER play with Mommy's toys.

Be very very good from now on and maybe she'll let you date when you turn 30.

[Karen Rani]

Oh boy. The one and only party I had in my grandparents house at 17 years old? Someone left a beer cap on the head of one of the Royal Doulton figurines. Thank goodness my Uncle claimed it as a joke on his mother. Whew!

[Sassy]

Oh God, the fact that someone took personal and private things, I'd die right on the spot I think. I've got 2 teenage boys (19 and 18) and so far, knock on wood, we've not had the 'party while we're gone' thing. That I know of. You know, maybe they did have one and I didn't know. Do you think? "Booooooooooys..........".....excuse me while I go investigate. I'm paranoid now. Sending good luck vibes that you get your private things back!

[Jenny]

Okay, Grace. That's it. Tell Molly she has to come to Camp Three Kid Circus next time you need to leave town.

[gwendomama]

wow.
i am stuffing supergirl right back up my vagina when she gets home from kindergarten.

[pam]

Grace, your story was an eye-opener. Liz, your stories were HAIR-RAISING.

I treasure age 9 all the more now. We had a slumber party with five girls and no major incidents. Nine is just old enough they won't burn themselves on the stove, and young enough they won't IM their BFs to come over with beer.

[cursingmama]

Classic "gotta prove to my peeps I can be a rebel move". How would I know, I did something very similar and very stupid. Maybe it has something to do with the birthday - - hmmmmmmm, very interesting..
Do you want to know what else a June 16th er managed to get herself into, or would you prefer the surprise? ;)

[Heidi]

This, my friends, is yet another example of why I'm sticking with cats. Grace, are you sure you want your "thangs" BACK? I mean, think about it... And Gwendomama? HAHAHAHA! Good luck with that!

[byakko]

Funny post!

I too like the audio additions.

[Elisson]

Ay Yi Yi.

Been there, done that. Once. Never was a "twice," I can tell you that.

At least we didn't have top deal with the Personal Property business. That gets nasty.