Celexa Withdrawal

Taken last Thursday.  Not looking too bad considering I was on day two of the down-titration from my old pal, Celexa.

So far, it's been an amicable parting.  I've been with this mighty SSRI for seven years.  The therapeutic effect has been successful and beyond my expectations. 

Celexa appeared on the scene after a long, grim period of starting and quitting various regimens including Prozac,  Zoloft, and Paxil, all in combination with Xanax.   When I began treatment with Celexa, we hit it off after a mere five days. Its effectiveness was that immediate, without a two to six week wait.  It was a whirlwind romance that lasted until this past spring.

I didn't notice I was becoming stressed and unhappy.  I was too busy, and, if I did take note, I dismissed any notion that I might be depressed.   I thought my sadness was about feelng badly for Molly's difficult first year of high school.  And, I figured my stress was related to a myriad of projects I had taken on, including setting up the childcare center at the BlogHer conference.  (I kept telling myself that this had to be perfect, we could not screw this up, one awful incident or accident would doom Blogher.) The anticipation of speaking on the BlogHer closing keynote panel didn't help the anxiety; in fact, it sometimes felt crippling.

I also thought the inner turmoil had much to do with my husband's start-up and that he was away on so many business trips.  I was down because I was lonely.  And, my response to that was - don't be lonely! Be busy!

Or, menopause.  Of course, menopause.  Always the menopause.

Still, I found myself getting more exhausted, trying my best to stay awake in the day, fighting the urge to nap.  I felt physically limited,  heavy limbed when I ran and in my yoga practice.  Indeed, I was heavy - I had gained 15 pounds in the last year, likely due to upping my dose last December (a preventive measure as I feel pretty down in the winter).  It all felt like I was dragging around an anchor.

I couldn't finish projects.  I was neglecting everything.  I saved what little energy I had for my family.  And, even that was minimal.  I just thank God that Molly has her dad, her stepdad/my hubs, her sister Jenn, and her many friends for back-up.  If she were younger, I'd feel so guilty I don't know what I would have done. 

It was the nightmares that clinched it for me.  Bad post-traumatic stress disorder nightmares of being molested.  Running from molesters.  Waking up yelling at molesters.  Yelling at the top of my lungs.

And, hand in hand with the nightmares, my father's sudden illness.

Last week I went to my physician and said that I was depressed again and probably needed a change in meds.  We decided that I should go on Wellbutrin.  I will begin this week in the last days of my Celexa taper. 

I'm told that Wellbutrin will pep me up, give me a bit more motivation, and rev up my metabolism so I can get rid of this extra weight.   I'm also assured that Wellbutrin will likely prevent any further descent into my heavy limbed, hellhole of nightmarish depression.

I think this is a good move.  I have hope.

To my dear old friend Celexa, I say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."  And, thank you for years of keeping me well, afloat and happy.

Comments

[margalit]

Like so many of us blogging moms, I could have written this post. My drug of choice is Effexor, and yes, I've read about all the terrible withdrawal symptoms, but it's still working pretty well for me, so on it I stay. But I'm feeling rather heavy and am on a totally day/night shift. I go to sleep in the morning and sleep the day away, then stay up all night. I can't seem to get it right, no matter what I do. It's driving me nuts because it is definately interfering with my parenting. What kid wants a mom who is in bed when he comes home from school? So not cool.

Keep us apprised (gosh, I've always wanted to say that!) of how the Welbutrin is working for you. I'm interested to hear if you find it helpful.

[Mir]

Get well, dear Grace.

[scout]

Good luck with that G. I was one Lexapro for a year and didn't feel too badly going off of it. I just got some headaces for about a week.

[Rhea]

Good luck with the new regimen!

[chris]

Ah dear grace, zoloft and I parted ways a few months ago.

heavy limbed is the perfect description. I often feel like my feet are glued to the ground.

good luck

[Debra Roby]

Ah, Grace,

I am currently off the antidepressants, though I'm never completely sure that I should be. The only one that every made me feel "normal" was Elavil.. though they took me off it because of blood pressure problems. Since then, I've taken others that "raised the bottom".. but didn't really lift me up.

Good luck for you with your Wellbutrin (which I originally typed as Wellbutton.. and I like that name better!)

How's your father doing?

[GetSheila]

I just love reading your posts, Grace. Happy de-Celexa week. I know someone on Wellbutrin who says watch out for the dry mouth and constipation. And my sis the pharmacist says Xanax is probably the biggest pep-stealer of your meds. Not sure if you're still taking that. I just love having smart people in the family.

Family member: "Why do you want to know all this?"

Me: "Um, research project."

[Kris]

Grace, good for you for recognizing the need for a change and not blaming yourself. We'll keep our fingers crossed for you.

[Ms. Jane]

Careful with the Welbutrin, that stuff made me feel like I was on the verge of seizure and I didn't have a bowel movement for five days. Ack.

I'm on Lexipro right now, and it's pretty good. I'm not as tired as with Serezone although it does make me grind my teeth.

I'm proud of you for making the change. It's so hard to do once you found something that works well enough...

[Chantel]

I have been on Wellbutrin for a couple of years. While the introduction can be rough because it does increase anxiety once it leveled off after a month I felt great. Yes, I had a pick me up and yes I lost weight but it was nice to feel good again which took about 2 months total.
I'm now on Cymbalta for a neruo-chronic-its-all-in-your-head-chronic-pain-problem but, I wouldn't hesitate to go back to wellbutrin if this didn't work.

Hugs for you lovely Grace!!

[Beth]

What an amazing thing that we have options regarding antidepressants. My grandfather was depressed and had zero options for medication. What a hell that must have been. I've been on Celexa (loved it) in the past, as well as Lexapro (liked it), but I quit antidepressants cold turkey when my son's dad made moves to take me to court for custody -- although it shouldn't have mattered that I was on antidepressants, I knew he would likely make it an issue...and indeed he did. I haven't gone back on them since, although I suppose I could've and should've. I'm so glad you've recognized what you need and are taking steps to get that. May you benefit from the medication switch sooner rather than later. Thanks for posting about your journey.

[minnie]

excellent, i hope wellbutrin works out well for you!
i had great success with it for years, most of the crappy side effects went away in about two weeks for.
kisses-Minnie

[samirah]

Lexapro has been my good friend for about 5 years. I'm fairly confident that it works.

But Grace, my dear Grace, I'm sorry you're so sad.
xoxo

[jonna]

Hi Grace: Sorry to hear of your trouble...glad you are taking steps. I have been on and off paxil for some time now and am weaning myself off at the moment. I too feel sluggish, and not all that helped by it at times. My family will argue that one...but I get a little bitchy when it comes to my meds and my body. My trouble is more along the lines of anxiety, and paxil did help me over some truly horrendous and debilitating disasters. Just tired of taking it.

[Simone]

I've been reading your Blog for a while now, this is the first time I've commented. I have depression also, I've been on Prozac for about 6 years now, and I've been finding that it doesnt seem to be having as much of an effect as it used to. I told my doctor and she said upping my dosage might help, but I still don't think it is. This might sound silly but I didn't really know that the pills your on can become less effective and different ones more so. thanks for this post Grace, I'm gonna go to my doc and tell her I'd like to discuss trying a different medication. I hope you feel better, you're an awesome woman!:)

[Chris Clarke]

I've been taking Wellbutrin for a year now:

http://faultline.org/index.php/site/comments/too_much_information_update/

I had no bad side effects. You know, aside from increased attention to detail, mild euphoria, weight loss and enhanced libido. But if you don't mind any of those it's good stuff.

[Jo]

Looking at the many options that are available in prescribing an antidepressant, in addition to the SSRIs and tricyclics, there are the MAOIs. I'm wondering whether most doctors will consider them when other meds are not effective.

[Kim]

I've been on Paxil for about a year. I went up and down on the mg. till I settled for 37. It works for the depression, but I find that I fall asleep doing homework with the kids or watching T.V. Any suggestions?

[Charlie]

Enjoy your new life on Wellbutrin(Bupropion). Just expect after a few weeks of a dosage regiment to find yourself awake a LOT more. Not like Adderall or Ritalin. Just not tired.

[Ally Gold]

Has anyone read any info on anti-depressants and pregnancy? I was on Celexa for about 5 years and it helped me tremendously. Then, my husband and I decided to try to become pregnant, so I weaned myself off of it and although I felt a lot of dizziness coming off, I felt pretty good using meditation/relaxation techniques for about a year. Recently however, I have sunk back into depression again with relentless insomnia, which was beginning to become crippling. I just went back on a low dose of Celexa. I pretty much feel it is better to not take anything during a pregnancy, but wondering if anyone has read or discussed this issue with their doctor. Thanks for any info. I'm trying to gather as much info as I can.