Bloggers must be media savvy. (Getting Melissa's boots is a first step.)

By now you dollin parent bloggers are well aware of the steaming piles of donkey shit Melissa had to wade through during her appearance on last Friday's Today Show.   This is the silly brouhaha about moms enjoying a little vintage, brew or spirits at a playdate.   Oh, for fuck's sake, what's the big deal?  We're only talking wussy bottles of chardonnay, here.  Ptoeey, I speet on that, that's nothing.   'Round these parts, attendance at playdates is essential if you want to score some high grade sinsemilla or freshly harvested magic mushrooms.   

Anyway, if you've been in a coma since Friday, or, better yet, passed out from a 72 hour bender, here's the video of Melissa getting bitch-cornered by Meredith Viera and a media slick shrink on the Today Show.  (Be warned - you have to watch a Mr. Peanuts of Planters Nuts doing a weird disco dance before getting to the program.  Magic mushrooms have nothing on Mr. Peanut's dance.) 

Also, Melissa's thorough account of how she ended up dodging said donkey shit on national television is painstakingly described on today's Suburban Bliss entry.

Now, most of the issues I latched onto while watching this unfold has already been covered in the Suburban Bliss commentary as well as by many thoughtful bloggers - i.e., the blatant sexism in implying that women are, as a whole, stupid and can't be trusted with a drinkee with their kiddos around; that this is yet another example of the mainstream media believing that their audiences are composed of those stupid women who are itching to witness a catfight on a talk show; that women are stupid, period; and Melissa looked pretty fly in her (donkey) shit kicking boots. 

Something that has not been mentioned is this - All bloggers should have media and speaker training.  We should be prepared for a reporter chatting us up on the telephone, a camera crew appearing at our front door or going into a studio for a televised/taped interview.  We should learn tips and pointers on how to serve on a panel. 

I mean it when I say "all of us".  Look at me, I ain't no great shakes, I'm just a regular gal, one of the "all of us".  But, if it can happen to me, it can certainly happen to the next blogger.   In the two years I've maintained this blog, my sweaty menopausal ass has seen the lights, the camera, the interviewer, the reporter and the podium.  I managed to survive all of that, but not without feeling supremely insecure and unprepared before, during and after those media events.   I take that back about surviving those media events - I don't think I'll ever live down a television interview I did without benefit of personal hygiene.   I know I'm not the only blogger who puts off a shower well into the afternoon, but still, this was ridiculous.

Perhaps the most vital aspect of media training is to know how to avoid the booby traps hidden in an interview.  If you read Melissa's account linked above, she was clearly ambushed.   You'll also see on the video link that though she was blindsided, Melissa conducted herself with poise and clarity.  But, for the rest of us, would we be so graceful?  Would we be able to hold our own? Would we have clever sound bytes at the tip of our tongues to lob with strength and authority at a Meredith Viera or a Bill O'Reilly?  Would we be able to restrain ourselves from lunging at a Meredith or a Bill, grappling them down to the floor and wrapping their well coiffed head in a death lock?

Maybe a media training session can be offered at BlogHer, with presentations from a consultant or a forward thinking producer-type from the mainstream media.  There could be demonstations of what to do/not to do.   I would be happy to come forward and serve as the volunteer for 'what not to do'.  I'll even go without washing my hair, adding a dramatic take home message for my fellow bloggers.

While that idea percolates, I found some links on communicating, but not a lot of info on media training for bloggers.  Hmmmm, there should be a blog on just that,  yes?

Guy Kawasaki's 'How to Get a Standing Ovation'

From the National Review Online (amazingly yes, I do read the NRO), some observations from the Yearly Kos meeting about a workshop for bloggers as media pundits.

Novita Issue Communications - on camera appearances.  Brief but excellent tips and a really cool video of actor Michael Caine giving a lecture on working with the camera.  Though the focus on this video is about acting, Michael Caine's discussion is relevant to any on camera work.  Eye contact is key.  That's hard to do, but it makes a difference.  Also, avoiding incessant blinking is critical.  That's really hard to do, just ask Nancy Pelosi.

Lots of great general pointers on the posts tagged 'communications' in the ever useful LifeHacks.

Tell me what I missed, Dear and Dollin Readers.   I know I only have the mere molecular tip of the iceberg, here. 

All righty, then, my bloggeristas.  The press is coming for you.  Get ready for your close-ups, have your sound bytes at the ready and, most especially, keep your hair washed at all times.

Comments

[margalit]

The press came for me again today, and they got the same response this time that they did last time. As in "no, I'm not interested." (see my comments on the TJX post) That is what sane people do when they are asked to be interviewed on national television (or even local TV) regarding something as stupid as drinking at playdates. IMO, and it's not all that humble, Melissa was not great on TV, and yes, I saw the show. She rolled her eyes, she claimed she wanted to list her child on Ebay, she made disgusted faces, and she was fairly inarticulate compared to Dr. Janet. I don't think she was ambushed at all. She was shown that there are TWO SIDES to every situation, and Dr Janet, Meredith Viera, and the people that thought she didn't do well, had a differing opinion on what she said and her performance. Unlike Melissa's commenters the sycophants that grasp onto every word she says as "brilliant". She wasn't brilliant. Even my daughter, who watched with me and didn't knew Melissa from Adam thought she sounded less than brilliant.

My feeling is, Melissa's continual posting on this is her desperate attempt to boost her ego after an embarassing appearence on national TV. It has nothing to do with her looks, her boots, her manner of dress, or anything else. She just didn't hold her own very well.

The whole POINT of discourse, something that Melissa has never gotten, is that people disagree. That's how you learn. THat's how you form opinions. That's how you communicate. Just like I'm doing here. You know I adore you Grace, but I'm disagreeing with you because you're an adult and you won't go all psycho if someone disagrees with you. That is SO not true of some other bloggers, especially Melissa. She needs the adulation and she cannot take anything negative said about her. That's a big problem for a blogger. You gotta learn to take the disagreements.

Not everyone thought she was fabulous. A discussion on Craigslist certainly showed that pretty much every mom thought she was terrible. Ditto for Ivillage. Now, maybe they're not "hip" moms, but their opinions count too. They're allowed to have an opinion and not be accused of not knowing how to think for themselves (words straight from Melissa). Just like I'm allowed to say what I want.

I didn't post anything on this entire affair because I think it's inane. WHO THE HELL CARES if women have a glass of wine at a playdate. It does not make them better moms or worse moms. It DOESN'T MATTER. The world is filled with real issues and controversies. Maybe if Melissa got her head out of her tushie and looked beyond her tiny little world, she would get that this is a non-issue not worth the huge amount of time she spent on it. I suggest maybe learning about Darfur, national politics, the war in Iraq, and the rise of autism or diabetes might be a tad more relevant. As in, the world does not revolve around Melissa. And thank the diety of your choice for that.

[john cowart]

Hi Grace,
Just over visiting from the link on Mark On My Wall. I browsed through some of your photo gallery and followed the adventures of Malcom.
What a great little dog!

[Kris]

Great post. Thanks for the links. I thought I was the only one who noticed Nancy Pelosi's incessant blinking (followed by eyes darting about and teeth sucking). Pretty funny! God help me if I ever end up in front of a camera.

[Scoutj]

Wow. What a fucking mess. I'll stick to dyeing yarn on TV......

[Janet]

*perk* magic mushrooms? !!!

[pam]

I like your suggestion for preparing sound bytes. They're also called "elevator stories" - 20-30 second spots of oratorial genius you can deliver within the span of an elevator ride or a phone call.

Maybe some time in Toastmasters or a similar public speaking course would benefit future blog panelists. I'm checking it out myself. (For work, not for blog-related interviews. I'm with Margalit completely - just say no.)

[Victoria Marinelli]

Re: this -
"'Round these parts, attendance at playdates is essential if you want to score some high grade sinsemilla or freshly harvested magic mushrooms."

Bwa ha ha ha ha!

And though I wasn't in a coma, I have been on post-surgery pain meds, so thanks for the heads-up.

FWIW, I believe firmly that I should almost never speak to the media. Years ago I was the opening speaker for a pro-choice lobbying event. This was, on its surface, notable because I was two days shy of my due date (preggers w/ my second of two lovely, chosen kids), and was making the case that pro-choice meant, you know, pro- choice, not "yay, abortion is the only way to go! and it's so darned fun!" as the anti-choice lobby would have folks believe. And, yes, I did a pretty good speech - because I had written the whole damned thing out on paper in advance, and didn't dare to deviate from the text.

Afterward, the local TV folks approached me (microphone extended, like the weapon I ought to have realized it was). They asked for an interview. I said I didn't know what on earth I would say. They said 'but you got a standing ovation! You were amazing!' And I said, yeah, that's because I was working from my own script. They said 'Don't worry! You'll be great!' And stuck the evil microphone in my face, turning on the camera.

I have no idea what I said then. I went entirely blank. All but pissed my pants. I was definitely not articulate. I could see from their faces that they were actually embarassed on my behalf.

Never, ever again.

[Jenny]

God, I wish I had the audio from BlogHer 2005, so I could enter my "Jennifer Lauck, but NOT THAT Jennifer Lauck" monologue/self-destructing sequence into your list of "what not to do."

[bitchwhoblogs]

I was part of a group of nonprofit leaders who were put through Fortune 500 training programs (I won't bore you with the details - but the Feds picked up the tab).

We were put through our paces with a media coach - the whole elevator thing, but even more importantly we were targeted by peers and videotaped to see where we were weak when put into tough spots on camera.

I looked like the hippie surfer I was at that time - pulling on my hair - completely invalidating my carefully chosen light blue french cuff blouse.

Seriously, it was great. I learned to appear confident no matter what was tossed my way and tricks on how to do that.

I am all about the media training. It works. I am not naturally savy in front of the camera, but have gone on to be a media spokewoman for DES Action and a few other activist gigs....

Its about learning to use the master's tools if we are going to play in his house.

[Mom101]

Outstanding Grace! This may be the first essay addressing the entire (non) issue that actually poses something of a solution. But the truth is, I'm lucky. I work in a field where public speaking is de rigeur and after a few misquotes from the press (the NY Times made me out to be somewhat racist once - how about that) you get better.

A lot of bloggers--all kinds of writers at that--are not naturally media savvy. Even James Frey bombed on Oprah (not that I'm holding him up as the standard). Point well taken.

[carmen]

What a GREAT idea. I'm in massive need of lessons on how to NOT stick my feet in my mouth and swallow.

[minnie]

the blogger on the today show was a totally awful public speaker... i dont blame her tho.... and think she was probably blindsided a bit by by the other panelist.

toastmasters sounds like a good idea.

[Donna]

A media training session at BlogHer is an excellent idea! Most of us aren't going to need it -- but, as you point out, you never know...

[Angelina]

I just have a really hard time imagining that anyone is ever going to ask me to speak on television. I mean, are there TV people just trolling blogs looking for someone to talk to?

But if someone did ask me, and for some reason I decided to ignore the fact that I pass out when speaking publicly, I would definitely want to talk to someone or read something with really good pointers on how to do it well.

I disagree with Margalit. That Dr. Janet wasn't eloquent at all. She said exactly one thing again and again. Even if the topic is lame, she offered nothing to it except the fact that she doesn't think women should drink in front of their kids. And so what if Melissa rolled her eyes? I'm rolling mine now at the memory of that Doctor and the show host.

[melissaS]

You'll forgive me for once again noting Margalit's continual obsession with me and what I am doing 'wrong'.

That's fine, it's her opinion and I accept it. I have no choice as she spins around the internet writing mulitiple paragraph comments about me spewing her brand of garbage at me.

At least this latest comment leaves out the personal attacks, which is nice. For once.

I called people who are unable to see a drink as seperate from 'alcohol abuse' stupid and unable to think for themselves. (Referring to some comments at the NBC site.)

It's also important to note I blocked Margalit from commenting at my site because of exactly what she did at the beginning of this comment thread. Not directed at me of course, but at 3 blogging baby writers I admire and respect. I didn't want my comments a forum for her stupidity and tired of babysitting her comments.

This infuriates her and has sent her careening through the internet sharing her very strong opinions of who I am.

I wonder why she cares so very much but I continue to marvel and the strength in response I provoke from this very sad strange woman.

[Holly]

"Maybe if Melissa got her head out of her tushie and looked beyond her tiny little world, she would get that this is a non-issue not worth the huge amount of time she spent on it. I suggest maybe learning about Darfur, national politics, the war in Iraq, and the rise of autism or diabetes might be a tad more relevant."

Right something of global importance like an 8 paragraph diatribe explaining just how much you hate Melissa Summers?

Margalit, this is the second comment I've seen from you on this issue you repeatedly claim is 'stupid' and not worth any time. Well except the 8 paragraphs you spend ripping on Melissa's clothes, hair and teeth.

How about an 8 paragraph comment about something "of value".

[badgerbag]

Good point about the public speaking training! Some women were just talking about this on a mailing list and Tara Hunt organized a session in the Bay Area. We were also talking about conference calls to practice giving short pitches. So it could be something that a local blogger meetup group could do - bring someone in for training, or just practice in front of each other.